Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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