Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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