Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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