At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
