Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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