If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
