yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
