People with herpes should wear stickers.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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