im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
