What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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