please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's blow job season.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
