I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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