man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i came on her dog
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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