just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
