ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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