Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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