So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
