ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
