i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
