He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
