Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
