Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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