I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
