Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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