U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it wasn't lemon gatorade
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
