fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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