mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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