That's intense
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My vagina just clenched in fear
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