I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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