his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
