wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
