yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
