Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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