Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
