So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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