Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
