So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
