Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
