we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
