Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
