I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
