So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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