Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
ttyl tear gas
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
