You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
