the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
