I didn't shave. On purpose
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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