we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
