"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
