dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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