She told me I should be a condom model.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm both gender and math confused
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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